Society looked at individuals as failures if their marriage broke up and therefore stayed together as a result. Apart from the media, much of the stigma of divorce came from family, friends and peers. Financial security was another reason why married couples stayed together. Government family policy, 10, 20,30, 40 years supported the family unit more so than today.
Thinking is a good thing but it can also be detrimental to our health… the unhealthy thoughts which get channelled into our subconscious minds – this is effectively the secret that lurks behind low self-esteem. To change your thoughts to healthy ones changes your physiological state and leads to either a total elimination or a sizeable reduction in anxiety symptoms.
Often people see the symptoms of a problem as problem itself. The real danger in this is that the real problem is left unaddressed. You and your partner may work hard at solving what you believe the problem is only have the turmoil continue.
With all that we go through on a daily basis, it is very easy to allow our relationships to fall to the wayside. Even the simple routines of life work to take out focus off of what is really important.
In 1997, I wrote an article called Credit Cards… Just Like Drugs. In it I said there was no better analogy than credit and drugs. We use it (credit) and use it and use it until we can’t live without it. Yet we live in an “age of plastic” and our youth must be taught to use plastic responsibly, even if we as parents have not. Sounds reasonable, right? But how exactly do you we go about doing that?
At the end of each marriage Ron Legrand session, improvements on the couple’s situation is worked on. The couple would usually be given tasks or assignments that they must do (whether they would like it initially or not) which will be followed up on the next session. Notes are made and the therapist would work on the negative patterns that he sees in the interaction as well as try to understand the causes of the couple’s reaction to each other. From one session to the next, the spouses would have ideally been able to settle the root of their disagreements and have moved on from it.
8 You keep connected with each other. You know the detail of each others lives and hopes. You tell each other what you really feel, even if it’s hard.
That’s when assertiveness comes in, BEFORE it gets to that point. Practice makes perfect. Get a book or a course on assertiveness. Assess yourself next time you get into a discussion with someone. Are you or were you, “Assertive”, “Passive” or “Aggressive”.